Sunday, February 27, 2005

REHAB  IS  FOR  QUITTERS

Spotted on a DC taxi last night.

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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Of all the things I've lost,
I miss my mind the most.

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Friday, February 25, 2005

The asteroid to kill this dinosaur is still in orbit.

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He who dies with the most toys, dies.

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On the other hand,
you have different fingers

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I respect all religions,
except the heathen ones.

And perhaps Judaism, Christianity, and Islam?

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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

The Earth was created last week.
God just made it look older.

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UNIX users do it with pipes.

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PEACE  IS  PATRIOTIC

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Monday, February 21, 2005

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

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Sunday, February 20, 2005

He who laughs, lasts.

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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Stop outsourcing torture
to Syria and Egypt!

American jobs are being lost to the practice of "extraordinary rendition."
See also Bob Herbert's article.

Contrast with
Torture:
Do it professionally, or don't do it at all.

or
Amateur torturers usually bungle the job.

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REUNITE  GONDWANA!

Here's a description of its pre-breakup territory.

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Torture at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo:
The buck stops where?

Commanders-in-Chief worthy of the name (e.g., Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy) take responsibility for what happens "on their watch."

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Friday, February 18, 2005

Neither success nor failure
is ever permanent.

Thanks to Bob Taylor, the legendary research manager at ARPA, PARC, and DEC/SRC.

Bob's most common exhortation was
"It is insufficiently considered that men require more often to be reminded than informed."--Samuel Johnson
which is a bit long for a bumper sticker, but a good explanation for the effectiveness of some of the best bumper stickers.

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Most homophobes
are closeted gays

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Thursday, February 17, 2005

If the demo works,
it's probably been faked.

Via Ben King.

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I'm Anti-Rearchitecturalizationing,
AND  I  VOTE!

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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Are you part of a karass or a granfalloon?

Explained in Cat's Cradle.

Also:
There's no damn cat, and no damn cradle!

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The other George W.
couldn't tell a lie

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Monday, February 14, 2005

Whom Would Jesus Bomb?

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If God had meant Texans to ski,
he would have given them mountains.

Seen on a New Mexico licensed car.
A rejoinder was seen on a Texas licensed car:

If God had meant New Mexicans to ski,
he would have given them money.


Contributed by Jim Dehnert.

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Sunday, February 13, 2005

If design implies Intelligence,
Who designed the Designer?

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Saturday, February 12, 2005

TIME WOUNDS ALL HEELS

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Friday, February 11, 2005

How much debt are we leaving to your children?

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Thursday, February 10, 2005

Skydiving: Good to the last drop!

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MASTER  PROCRASTINAT

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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Remember when Republicans wanted to limit the national debt?

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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

An idle bumper is the Devil's billboard.

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There are 10 kinds of people:
Those who understand binary,
and those who don't

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Monday, February 07, 2005

Practice Safe Cybersex
Use a Condom on your Modem

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Sunday, February 06, 2005

Spread Irrational Exuberance:
Privatize Social Security

The speech that popularized the phrase "irrational exuberance"

Compare with:
1929: The year that made Social Security necessary

("Scarcely a man is now alive, who remembers that fateful year.")

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Saturday, February 05, 2005

I'd Rather Be
Driving a Pierce Arrow

Or:
Driving a Golf Ball, Driving a Hard Bargain, Driving People Nuts, Driving a Lot Better
Or:
Coping, Emmigrating, Filking, Merging, Passing, Scoring, Working
Or:
Cunning, Herring, King, Kipling, Sting, Viking
Or:
Employed, Famous, Home, Legal, Rich, Sane, Sober, Solvent

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Friday, February 04, 2005

If God approved of nudism,
we'd all be born naked.

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Vow to make each day better than the next!

(A drug-free recipe for depression.)

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Thursday, February 03, 2005

Ideas are like Antiques: The best ones are old.

Or:
Just being old doesn't make them good.
Some people collect them but don't use them.
Handle them with care.
Beware of counterfeits.

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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

When steganography is outlawed, you won't notice anything different.

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Don't gamble with your Social Security.
Gamble with your children's.

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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Schroedinger's Cat Lives! (Probably.)

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