Dyslexics of the World, Untie!

A mind like a steel trap: What goes in gets mangled.

Or:
Snaps with the slightest provocation.
Quick reflexes, but no smarts.
Cold, cruel, and dangerous.

Bribing journalists is so Bush League.

Dan Gilmore's post.

"The old saw says, 'Let sleeping dogs lie.' Right. Still when there is much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it." --Mark Twain

Would you buy a used idea from this bumper?

Technology is driving the future... it is up to us to do the steering.

This is the Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility bumper sticker that got me tail-ended by a driver trying to read the small print. That's when I decided to forego physical bumper stickers.

(If they hadn't also crowded on "CPSR Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility", this would have qualified as an example of the "compact literary form.")

Massive deficit spending: That's so Bush League!

War destroys the planet you have, not the planet you might want.

Drive for Global Warming

Especially suitable for SUVs, RVs, pickups, and assorted gas-guzzlers.

The smart money is moving to future seaside lots in the Sierras

"Nothing wrong with California that the rise in the ocean won't cure."

Help melt Antarctica and Greenland to drown the Mideast Mess

Most of the US will remain above water.

Too bad about the collateral damage in New Orleans, Florida, the Netherlands, and Bangladesh, though.

Ask me why I'm a Frisbeeterian

(Because its Central Dogma is so enlightening.)

Honk if you love peace and quiet

Proud Aluminum of Texas A&M

My child was Student of the Month at San Quentin

Support Our Troops: Bring Them Home Alive.

Free-range vegetarians taste better.

My other wife is a Rockette.

Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people.

Relativity is just a theory.Study it skeptically.

More about this theory.

Or: Archaeology, Cosmology, Evolution, Geology, Paleontology, Psychology, Skepticism, ...

Practice Cordless Bungee Jumping

Suppoert our right to keep and arm bears

Support faith-based missile systems

Nicotine, Cocaine, Heroin: Treat them all the same.

Solipsism: Live your dream!

Somebody said it. I believe it. That settles it.

Where Somebody is an authority figure, such as:
Einstein
Darwin
Freud
George Bush
Paul Harvey
Ayn Rand
L. Ron Hubbard
Martin Luther
The Pope
God
Allah
Mohammed
Gautama Buddha
Confucius
Lord Krishna
Kali
My wife

If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there

Hire the Morally Challenged

There is no gravity: The Earth just sucks.

Minds are like parachutes: Mostly used in emergencies.

Or:
Only used on the way down.
They'll slow you down but won't stop you.
They work best when open.

My other car is a Fiction

If we hunt deer in deer season, what do we do in tourist season?

Reported from Martha's Vineyard, by a year-round resident.

If.

The archetypical laconic reply.

Freedom can't be imposed

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs

Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once

Gravity: It's not just a good idea, it's the law

Ears pierced while you wait

(OK, I confess, this was seen on a shop, not a bumper. But has a similar charm.)

Repeal the 10th Commandment -- It's Un-American!

Warning: I brake for Tailgaters

Or, for Leprechauns, for Hobbits, for Whales, for Hallucinations, for Ice skaters, for Stop signs, for No apparent reason, ...

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have in-laws

Support your right to keep and arm bears

Typically accompanied, in California, at least, by a picture of the state flag. (Or the original Bear Republic flag.)

Help stamp out thumb tacks

Accompanied by a picture of a large, hairy, bare foot descending onto a point-up thumb tack.

Help stamp out bumper stickers

Save the chocolate mousse!

Sometimes accompanied by a picture of large brown antlers.

Stop the violins!

Visualize Whirled Peas

I do like stickers that only make sense when you remember other stickers.

4X4X8

I had to consider the brand of the car with this plate before the penny dropped.

Jesus is coming! Act busy.

Spotted by Jane on Embarcadero. I think the double take rises above
Jesus saves
Moses invests
or
If Christ is the answer,
what was the question?

Re-elect Gore in 2004

Most political bumper stickers are both banal and ephemeral. However, a few rise above the genre. My wife's favorite was
Don't change Dicks in the middle of a screw:
Vote for Nixon in '72.

Introduction

Bumper stickers are a literary form that seems to be going out of fashion (at least in Silicon Valley), even if you include the extremely compressed form of vanity license plates--which I do. My last bumper sticker became the last by virtue of having my car tail-ended on Embarcadero Road by another car whose driver was trying to read the fine print.

Like Haiku, the bumper sticker aims to convey something memorable or thought-provoking with a very few words.

I intend to publish here bumper stickers that I see or remember or imagine that stick in my mind. Caveat: I certainly don't agree with all those I post; in fact, I find some of them offensive. (But not necessarily those that will offend any particular reader.)

I'd be happy to include contributions by others.