Monday, January 31, 2005

Dyslexics of the World, Untie!

1 comments

Sunday, January 30, 2005

A mind like a steel trap: What goes in gets mangled.

Or:
Snaps with the slightest provocation.
Quick reflexes, but no smarts.
Cold, cruel, and dangerous.

0 comments

Bribing journalists is so Bush League.

Dan Gilmore's post.

"The old saw says, 'Let sleeping dogs lie.' Right. Still when there is much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it." --Mark Twain

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Friday, January 28, 2005

Would you buy a used idea from this bumper?

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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Technology is driving the future... it is up to us to do the steering.

This is the Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility bumper sticker that got me tail-ended by a driver trying to read the small print. That's when I decided to forego physical bumper stickers.

(If they hadn't also crowded on "CPSR Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility", this would have qualified as an example of the "compact literary form.")

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Massive deficit spending: That's so Bush League!

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

War destroys the planet you have, not the planet you might want.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Drive for Global Warming

Especially suitable for SUVs, RVs, pickups, and assorted gas-guzzlers.

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The smart money is moving to future seaside lots in the Sierras

"Nothing wrong with California that the rise in the ocean won't cure."

1 comments

Help melt Antarctica and Greenland to drown the Mideast Mess

Most of the US will remain above water.

Too bad about the collateral damage in New Orleans, Florida, the Netherlands, and Bangladesh, though.

2 comments

Monday, January 24, 2005

Ask me why I'm a Frisbeeterian

(Because its Central Dogma is so enlightening.)

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Sunday, January 23, 2005

Honk if you love peace and quiet

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Proud Aluminum of Texas A&M

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Friday, January 21, 2005

My child was Student of the Month at San Quentin

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Support Our Troops: Bring Them Home Alive.

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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Free-range vegetarians taste better.

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My other wife is a Rockette.

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Monday, January 17, 2005

Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people.

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Sunday, January 16, 2005

Relativity is just a theory.
Study it skeptically.

1 comments

Practice Cordless Bungee Jumping

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Friday, January 14, 2005

Suppoert our right to keep and arm bears

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Support faith-based missile systems

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Thursday, January 13, 2005

Nicotine, Cocaine, Heroin: Treat them all the same.

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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Solipsism: Live your dream!

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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Somebody said it. I believe it. That settles it.

Where Somebody is an authority figure, such as:
Einstein
Darwin
Freud
George Bush
Paul Harvey
Ayn Rand
L. Ron Hubbard
Martin Luther
The Pope
God
Allah
Mohammed
Gautama Buddha
Confucius
Lord Krishna
Kali
My wife

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Monday, January 10, 2005

If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there

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Hire the Morally Challenged

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Sunday, January 09, 2005

There is no gravity: The Earth just sucks.

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Minds are like parachutes: Mostly used in emergencies.

Or:
Only used on the way down.
They'll slow you down but won't stop you.
They work best when open.

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Friday, January 07, 2005

My other car is a Fiction

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Thursday, January 06, 2005

If we hunt deer in deer season, what do we do in tourist season?

Reported from Martha's Vineyard, by a year-round resident.

2 comments

If.

The archetypical laconic reply.

1 comments

Freedom can't be imposed

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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs

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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once

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Monday, January 03, 2005

Gravity: It's not just a good idea, it's the law

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Ears pierced while you wait

(OK, I confess, this was seen on a shop, not a bumper. But has a similar charm.)

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Repeal the 10th Commandment -- It's Un-American!

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Sunday, January 02, 2005

Warning: I brake for Tailgaters

Or, for Leprechauns, for Hobbits, for Whales, for Hallucinations, for Ice skaters, for Stop signs, for No apparent reason, ...

1 comments

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

1 comments

Saturday, January 01, 2005

When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have in-laws

1 comments

Support your right to keep and arm bears

Typically accompanied, in California, at least, by a picture of the state flag. (Or the original Bear Republic flag.)

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Help stamp out thumb tacks

Accompanied by a picture of a large, hairy, bare foot descending onto a point-up thumb tack.

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Help stamp out bumper stickers

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Save the chocolate mousse!

Sometimes accompanied by a picture of large brown antlers.

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Stop the violins!

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Visualize Whirled Peas

I do like stickers that only make sense when you remember other stickers.

1 comments

4X4X8

I had to consider the brand of the car with this plate before the penny dropped.

1 comments

Jesus is coming! Act busy.

Spotted by Jane on Embarcadero. I think the double take rises above
Jesus saves
Moses invests

or
If Christ is the answer,
what was the question?

1 comments

Re-elect Gore in 2004

Most political bumper stickers are both banal and ephemeral. However, a few rise above the genre. My wife's favorite was
Don't change Dicks in the middle of a screw:
Vote for Nixon in '72
.

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Introduction

Bumper stickers are a literary form that seems to be going out of fashion (at least in Silicon Valley), even if you include the extremely compressed form of vanity license plates--which I do. My last bumper sticker became the last by virtue of having my car tail-ended on Embarcadero Road by another car whose driver was trying to read the fine print.

Like Haiku, the bumper sticker aims to convey something memorable or thought-provoking with a very few words.

I intend to publish here bumper stickers that I see or remember or imagine that stick in my mind. Caveat: I certainly don't agree with all those I post; in fact, I find some of them offensive. (But not necessarily those that will offend any particular reader.)

I'd be happy to include contributions by others.

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